thoughts and stuff
The first highlight of the day usually comes right after getting up: Cuddling with our sleeping or snoozing dog on his Ikea kids‘ mattress. I love his sleep-warm fluffy chest and the smell of hay in his fur. Sometimes he purrs like a cat, only lower, which almost sounds like a growl. A gentle wake-up ritual.
With this post, I’m halfway through my first challenge of the year: 31 daily blogposts.
It’s not the first time I’ve made this attempt, and I’m pretty excited that it’s the longest row of posts I’ve ever done before.
But to be honest, as usual I would have given up after a few days, if, yes if, this time I didn’t just have an accountability partner doing the challenge with me, BUT THE BEST ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER YOU CAN IMAGINE!
I am so lucky!
On to the next 15 days!
I bought this birthday card for my aunt:
Then I thought: No! And made this one:
Birthdays are a great opportunity to practice some collage skills. Want to do this more often. Who is the next one?
Instead of listening to my current favourite travel music album (Roisin Murphy: Roisin Machine) I couldn’t resist secretly joining the two girls sitting in front of me watching an episode of The Vampire Diaries.
What I liked about them was the way they talked about the characters as if they were a part of their real lives, like boys and girls at school.
They seemed really connected to them.
Today I did something I haven’t done for quite a while. Which is astonishing because it’s my profession and the thing I’m good at. And I had forgotten how much fun it is. Building a story in my head from the material I had collected. Using the words told to me by my interviewees. How to tell it in a way that is fun and human and joyful and maybe a little exciting and surprising. Want to do that more often again.
Last year was the year of big decisions for me.
One of them was to give up my career as self-employed PR journalist.
The problem with my decisions is that as soon as I make them they are done for me.
So I’m in that state of mind, but there are still all these unsexy things to do, like deregistering my business and doing all this admin stuff.
And then all of a sudden there comes a time when I think I should do this right now. And then it might be too late for something or I might not find a document I need.
Today was exactly that day. And I filled in all the documents and wasn’t sure about some things and hopefully that won’t be to my disadvantage.
Even though I was self-employed for more than ten years, one constant was my disorganisation.
Nevertheless, it has now brought me to a place and state that feels completely right for me.
So I accept up to this point my disorganisation and just keep trying to be less so in the future. Who knows, maybe it will work someday.
Question for you:
What was the most astonishing moment for you today?
Mine was that:
After one of my colleagues showed her cute baby cat in our daily online team meeting, another colleague showed his beloved pet: a big-eyed black and white guinea pig. I had not expected that.
I really like this idea of surrender and letting go of control.
Found this quote by Henry Miller that sums up exactly this phenomenon:
When you surrender, the problem ceases to exist. Try to solve it, or conquer it, and you only set up more resistance. I am very certain now that… if I truly become what I wish to be, the burden will fall away. The most difficult thing to admit, and to realize with one’s whole being, is that you alone control nothing. To be able to put yourself in tune or rhythm with the forces beyond, which are the truly operative ones, that is the task — and the solution, if we can speak of “solutions.”
Henry Miller
… that already feels like a Thursday.
This weekend was particularly calming, grounding and inspiring.
Calming and grounding: Long walks in the morning and late afternoon with my partner and our dog in places we don’t often walk.
Grounding: We watched „Nomadland“ for the first time on Saturday. After watching the film, I felt a bit anxious, especially thinking about getting older and being alone.
Interestingly, this (Sunday) morning I read a quote by Gabor Maté:
„Safety is not a question of a lack of threat. Safety is the presence of connection.“
Gabor Maté
This let me think of my anxiety the night before. And of the importance of community and connection for the „nomads“ in the film and for people in general.
Aside from the anxiety, the film was grounding for me as it shows life stripped to the bone. It makes you think about the essential things in life and made me feel grateful for the life I have.
Inspiring: I love my weekend feed on my favourite feed reader „Feedly“. The Marginalian newsletter was particularly inspiring again with an article about evolutionary biologist Lynn Margulis and her book „Symbiotic Planet“.
Also inspiring was the BBC World Book Club podcast episode with Jennifer Egan about her book „A visit from the Goon Squad“, which I am currently re-reading. One of my favourite books ever.
The „Knowledge“ section in the German weekly newspaper „Die Zeit“ was also very inspiring, especially an article about the philosopher Rosi Braidotti and the concept of the posthuman. I was impressed by the idea of affirmative ethics. Interestingly, one of her quotes is „We are all nomads“.
I immediately ordered two books by her to dive deeper into the idea of the posthuman. There will also be an exhibition on this topic at Marta Herford Museum in June.